October 1, 2005

The newsletter for all elder caregivers. Sent twice a month, and only by request. You are welcome to pass on Elder CareTips™ to anyone you think might be interested. You'll find information about how to get your personal subscription below.

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The Three Ps of Eldercare

Once upon a time there were 3 little pigs, and they each had a set of two little parents who were "getting up there."

The first little pig went merrily about his life, raising his kids, dreaming his dreams and visiting his little parents now and then. They looked hunky-dory and life was good. Until the phone rang at 3 am. and the first little pig's life came crashing about his ears. This little pig's house of straw came tumbling down that morning and he's never had the time to rebuild it as he scrambles from crisis to crisis.

The second little pig lived in a fine, sturdy wooden house of plans. He knew just what he would do when the phone rang. And when it did he went right to work with his fine, sturdy plans setting his little parents up with everything they needed. Then he went back to raising his kids and dreaming his dreams, never hearing the termites of change chewing away at his fine, sturdy wooden house of plans. Until one day his fine, sturdy wooden house of plans disintegrated in a cloud of termite-ridden dust as his little parents' needs grew too heavy to be supported. He's been too depressed to rebuild.

The third little pig built his house with his own little hands out of the best little kiln-fired bricks. He insulated it with contingency plans and carpeted it with determination, all with his own two little hands. He cared for his little parents and his children, and he dreamed his little dreams, all with his own two little hands in his sturdy brick house. Until one day his little back broke from the strain and he died.

And Thus Endeth the Parable.

There are 3 Ps to Elder Care: Preparation, Progression, and Partnerships.

Ignore any of these Ps and your eldercare house just might come tumbling down.

Preparation: If you're not prepared when the call comes, and one day it will for a parent or a spouse, you'll be slow out of the starting gate and scrambling to catch up. You may never be able to. If you don't have the most basic medical and financial information, and if you don't have some basic legal arrangements in order you won't be able to do what must be done. The time to start is now, even if the elders in question are hale and hearty. Use the "Things You Need To Know" workbook to get a head start, and make it a point to start having the conversations you've been putting off.

That's Preparation.

Progression: Life is a progression from birth to death. We may be able to prevent the first, but not the second. And Murphy lives. Whatever plans you have in place are certain to need change. The sitter will quit, the hip will break, the dementia will progress. Prepare for Progression by trying to anticipate and making contingency plans.. Learn what can and what can't be fixed...and how. And expect the unexpected.

Plan for Progression.

Partnerships: Trying to do it alone is the one certain guarantee of failure. Caregivers who go it alone because, "I made a vow" or, "No one can do it as well as I can" or, "He won't let anyone else help him" often get ill or die before the person they are caring for. Caregivers who go it alone risk sentencing both their care recipients and themselves to physical and financial hardship and a poorer quality of life. When you partner with family, friends, professionals and community resources your caregiving will be supported in a way it can never be when you stand alone.

Plan for Progression with your Partners.

So those are the three Ps of eldercare. Planning, Progression and Partnerships.

Make them part of your vocabulary.

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Knowing is not enough; we must apply.
Willing is not enough; we must do.
Goethe

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Do you or anyone you know/care for have arthritis or fibromyalgia? The Arthritis Foundation has a plethora (I love that word!) of information including the latest information on surgical options, online brochures, and tips for living with arthritis. If you haven't been by in a while it's worth a visit.

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Elder CareTip

Here is a tip which I like for using soap while in the shower. Take an old
nylon knee hi stocking, put the soap in it and tie a knot. No more slippery
soap when washing. The soap comes right through the nylon and it makes a
good gentle scrubber.

- Sandy Milne

* * *
If you've got a Reader Tip you'd like to share, please send it to me with the subject line "Care Tip." I'll give you credit unless you ask me not to.
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Use supplemental oxygen and want to travel? Visit the Society for
Accessible Travel Hospitality or call the Department of Transportation disability hotline at 800.778.4838 for resources for oxygen delivery to a U.S. vacation destination. Note: A recent decision to permit portable oxygen delivery systems on some planes is now in effect. However, be sure to contact your carrier before booking your flight to make sure that the policy is valid for that airline.

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What we anticipate seldom occurs; what we least expect generally happens.
-Benjamin Disraeli

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Woo-hoo! as they say. It's October 1 and we haven't broken 90 degrees here in two whole days. On the other hand, today is supposed to be hot again. But I feel hope in the air and the weeds in the garden may just get some real attention. The squirrels have been burying acorns from our over-enthusiastic oak trees like there's no tomorrow and I have a bumper crop of teeny, tiny little oaks everywhere. Do oak trees sprout in September in Maine?

Have a great weekend everyone. See you on the 15th.

Take care,

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Molly Shomer
Head Coach
The Eldercare Team
http://www.eldercareteam.com
mshomer@eldercareteam.com
(972) 395-7823

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Don't keep us a secret. If you know other people who should be reading this too, then do them and us a favor by telling them about Elder CareTips™. Just send them this link: http://eldercareteam.com/resources/newsletter.htm

© 2005 Molly Shomer, All rights reserved. You are free to use material from Elder CareTips: Mastering The Eldercare Maze™ as long as you include complete attribution, including live web site link and email link. I would appreciate it if you
would let me know where the material will appear.

The Eldercare Team